Bristol Palin lost her virginity while blackout drunk & on the pill

At this point, we can stop with the argument that Bristol Palin is just a private citizen, right? I felt that changed long ago, even before Bristol was on Dancing With the Stars. Not only is she a “celebrity” now, we can also stop with the argument that she’s just a “child” or that she’s somehow “off limits” simply because she‘s the daughter of a politician. That ended before Dancing With the Stars too, by the way, and this current Bristol situation only underlines the point. I didn’t know this before Saturday, but Bristol has “written” a memoir. Ten bucks says she didn’t actually write it, but that’s neither here nor there. The memoir/autobiography is called Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, which I’m assuming is some kind of conscious effort to stay away from a title that could easily be made into a porn film title.

So, the publisher of Bristol’s book has been sending out advanced copies and excerpts. Because she’s so off limits and private! In the book, Bristol talks about how she lost her virginity, and SURPRISE, it’s not her fault. Shocking, I know. If it actually went down like this, I am very sympathetic towards her, but “being blackout drunk on wine coolers when she was 17 years old” maybe isn’t the most conservative excuse you could come up with:

When Bristol Palin lost her virginity, it wasn’t the romantic experience she had envisioned. In her new autobiography, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, the 20-year-old single mom reveals that, while drunk for the very first time, she lost her virginity to Levi Johnston during a camping trip.

Palin says she woke up alone in her tent, with no recollection as to what happened. Johnston, meanwhile, “talked with his friends on the other side of the canvas.”

When she confronted him about their sexual encounter, Johnston, now 21, told Palin what she wanted to hear: they wouldn’t have sex again until they were married. But, Palin writes, they became intimate again shortly after. When she learned she was pregnant in 2008, Palin was on birth control pills prescribed to treat her cramps; it took eight home pregnancy tests to convince her that she was expecting.

Palin’s parents, to her surprise, were incredibly supportive. They also reminded her to stay focused on the future, particularly her continuing education. Johnston’s reaction was less comforting. “Better be a f***ing boy,” he told her.

The memoir, co-written with Nancy French, describes Johnston (the father of Palin’s 2-year-old son, Tripp) as a “gnat” who is “constantly spreading false accusations against our family.” Palin also calls him a self-involved slacker “who cheated on me about as frequently as he sharpened his hockey skates.”

And yet, Palin writes that when her mother, Sarah, was introduced as Senator John McCain’s vice presidential pick in August 2008, being on display with Johnston “somehow legitimized us as a couple.”

After Tripp’s birth in December, Palin discovered via text message that Johnston had been cheating on her. Once Johnston admitted to the affair, they decided to break up. Eighteen months later, the couple reunited and shocked their families with an announcement: they were engaged. Shortly after, Johnston informed Plain that he had gotten another woman pregnant, which ended their relationship for good. “I’d just made a complete fool of myself and given my family the middle finger,” Palin writes.

Johnston, for his part, will share his side of the story with his own book, Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs, which arrives in bookstores this fall.

[From Us Weekly]

Wait, what? So she doesn’t remember losing her virginity because she was blackout drunk (her “first time” with both drinking and sex?), but she was on the pill (because of cramps…?), and she and Levi still had sex even though they both swore to wait until marriage? And in this disarray, she got pregnant. Sure. Don’t get me wrong, it happens, it happens a lot. It happens to a lot of young women and adult women. That’s the point. It happens, so why not be realistic about it, politically? Why continue to shove abstinence-only education down everybody’s throats? Why PROFIT from that message?

Some photos of Bristol’s new and old face. I kind of liked her old face better.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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